Welcome back to The Defiant Spirit! As Thanksgiving approaches here in the U.S., I want to dig deep into what this season truly represents: gratitude, mindfulness, and connection. The holiday can easily become routine, a time when we gather, feast, and go through the motions. But Thanksgiving is more than turkey and family photos—it’s a call to live in gratitude and bring our full awareness to the blessings that we often overlook.
Thanksgiving: Beyond Words of Thanks
Gratitude has become a buzzword, tossed around frequently and often simplified into quick practices. Real gratitude, however, requires mindful attention. It’s about tuning into the present, to the people in our lives, and to the circumstances that, despite challenges, overflow with blessings. We live in an age of media-fueled negativity; headlines focus on the worst. But history tells a different story, reminding us how much progress we’ve made toward peace, justice, and opportunity.
The antidote to the relentless focus on scarcity and fear is practicing gratitude. In Jewish tradition, we start each day with modeh ani, a simple “thank you,” grounding us in appreciation. Thanksgiving is an opportunity to turn “thank you” into more than a phrase—a way of being.
How the Enneagram Can Guide Our Thanksgiving Table
Thanksgiving gatherings can challenge even the best of us. Family dynamics, differing opinions, and social pressures often surface around the table, testing our patience. Here, the Enneagram shines as a tool to understand each other better. Each type brings unique qualities, needs, and potential conflicts. Approaching our loved ones with this understanding can transform tension into empathy and gratitude. Let’s walk through each type and see how to create a table of gratitude for all.
The Perfectionist (Enneagram 1): The Enneagram One often brings a sense of order and structure to the table. They might appear rigid, but beneath lies a deep self-criticism. This Thanksgiving, honor their hard work and attention to detail by showing appreciation for their efforts, even if their high standards can feel intimidating.
The Helper (Enneagram 2): Helpers give endlessly and may need reminders that they, too, are valued just for being themselves. Take a moment to recognize their contributions, but invite them to sit and receive as well. Thanksgiving isn’t just about giving; it’s about knowing one’s inherent worth beyond acts of service.
The Achiever (Enneagram 3): Achievers may focus on making Thanksgiving an impressive, high-caliber event. Encourage them to relax and remind them that their value is not in the production but in their presence. Help them remember that this time is about authenticity, not appearances.
The Individualist (Enneagram 4): Individualists bring emotional depth and beauty to any gathering. They may challenge others with their intensity, but if you lean in, they’ll draw everyone closer to the heart of the celebration. Let them know they are valued for their uniqueness and that their presence enriches the experience.
The Investigator (Enneagram 5): Fives might seem reserved at the table, carefully choosing their words and staying mostly observant. Give them space and patience, allowing them to share on their own terms. They offer a depth of insight that can bring rich reflection to the Thanksgiving table.
The Loyalist (Enneagram 6): Loyalists can bring both warmth and worry, feeling responsible for everyone’s well-being. Help them feel secure and recognized for their loyal nature. Show gratitude for their commitment and remind them that the gathering is a safe space where they’re fully accepted.
The Enthusiast (Enneagram 7): The Enthusiasts keep the mood light, often avoiding deeper, potentially uncomfortable topics. While they bring joy and energy, gently remind them that it’s okay to sit with the full range of emotions at the table. Thanksgiving is an opportunity to explore not only joy but also the beauty in quieter moments of gratitude.
The Challenger (Enneagram 8): Eights can bring intensity to any setting, advocating fiercely for what they believe in. They work hard, protect others, and speak boldly. Acknowledge their loyalty and passion, but encourage them to take a breath, be present, and experience the softer side of connection and gratitude.
The Peacemaker (Enneagram 9): Nines are the peacemakers, often willing to let their own needs fall by the wayside to maintain harmony. Make sure they know they are valued and have a voice. Help them find the courage to share their perspectives, knowing they add to the unity and balance at the table.
Gratitude as a Daily Practice
By understanding each Enneagram type, we’re not just accommodating personalities; we’re creating a Thanksgiving atmosphere that celebrates what each person brings to the table. Viktor Frankl taught us about response-ability: the power to choose our response to life. This Thanksgiving, let’s actively choose gratitude, foster meaningful connection, and move past reaction to intentional, compassionate presence.
As we enter this season, may we cultivate gratitude not just for a day but for every day, approaching life with mindful awareness, seeing our blessings clearly, and sharing gratitude openly. This Thanksgiving, let us not just gather around a meal, but around a practice of gratitude that deepens our connections, brings us peace, and lights a path forward into a new year filled with thanks.
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