Men Living Masterful Lives; Men Living Divided No More
A man in midlife sits down on my couch as we begin Logotherapy. He then tells me how he’s succeeding in business and at the top of his game. He’s achieved everything he set out to do, accumulated wealth, hit all his goals, and is known throughout his industry as a success. Mastery. That is what he describes. The only problem is that he has achieved mastery in one area of his life. He’s not so masterful in the other areas, which explains why he doesn’t feel successful. Rather, he feels like a failure. He’s spent so much time at the office that when he comes home, he doesn’t know where he fits into his family. He feels like a second-class citizen who is disrespected and appreciated only for the money he makes. His relationship with his wife has grown tense, even antagonistic, and it’s been months since they’ve had anything approximating intimacy. Frankly, all he knows is that she resents him, constantly telling him that he can’t do anything right. No wonder he avoids her and his home every chance he gets. Or maybe his struggle is with his aging parents, a community that no longer aligns with his values, or old friendships that seem to be running on fumes of the past. The more he’s with any of them, the lonelier he feels. True mastery can not be limited to one aspect of a man’s life while the other areas merely limp along. True mastery is only possible when he stops compartmentalizing his life, one identity in his profession, another at home, another out in the world, or another still when he’s alone, behind closed doors, and no one else is looking. That man on my couch, every man I guide, know, and love, wants to live a life of true mastery, holistic mastery, the kind of mastery that isn’t compartmentalized, can’t be divided, and is lived out each and every day in every aspect of his life. Mastery is possible, but only when we stop living a divided life, in the words of Parker Plamer. “Afraid that our inner light will be extinguished or our inner darkness exposed,” writes Palmer, “we hide our true identities from each other. In the process, we become separated from our own souls. We end up living divided lives, so far removed from the truth we hold within that we cannot know the “integrity that comes from being what you are.” This is why we’ve created Man UPrising: a community of men rising up in the second half of life. It is a place for men to bring down the walls, a space for men to stop hiding who they are in the world, and a community of men who support one another in getting rid of everything that divides us on the outside but above all else, everything that divides us on the inside; everything and anything that separates us from our own souls. If you are a man facing or in the second half of life… If you are a man ready to live, divide no more… If you are a man seeking to rise and live your true self, true purpose, and the true you… If so, you are one of us. We want you to join us and be a part of Man UPrising. Man UPrising is a community of men who live divided no more.
Mirrors, Middle-Aged Naked Dudes, And Men Sick Of The Game
This is my threshold test to find my guys, the ones I can work with and help. Those who won’t look, can’t yet look, or are too embarrassed, heartbroken, or ashamed to look are my guys, my tribe, and the men with whom I connect and who connect with me.
Wolverine Spirituality: Football, Meditation & What I Learned From J.J. McCarthy
Sure, it takes balls to walk onto that field as QB1, knowing you will get pummeled all day. However, I’d argue that it takes even more courage to sit in meditation before the kickoff of the pinnacle game of the year. Moreover, this wasn’t the championship volleyball game (no offense; I know you volleyball players are badass). Rather, it’s football, arguably one of the most hyper-macho and toxic-masculine cultures known to man.
Screw New Year’s Goals; This Year, Be The Goalie!
“The defiant power of the human spirit is man’s capacity as a spiritual being to resist and brave whatever conditioning, circumstances or suffering he may face or endure.” -Dr. Viktor Frankl I hate goals. I hate goal setting. Above all else, I hate this ridiculous ritual of setting goals for the New Year. Why? Because the goals are a cliche. Lose weight. Exercise more. Spend Less. Blah, blah, blah. More than just living another cliched year, the real reason is – that they don’t work! A whopping 9% of us actually stick to the goals we’ll set for 2024, let alone achieve them. So, all you’re really doing is guaranteeing the one goal you will achieve – being a failure at keeping New Year’s goals, yet again. Instead, what I’m doing this year is committing to being the goalie, yes, the goalie – like in hockey. Fine, that’s a goal, but just one, and one which isn’t a cliche, is totally attainable, and honestly, it’s badass! No, I’m not talking about playing hockey. I can’t ice skate, plus I like my teeth too much for that. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you the first thing about the sport, save this. You don’t F*ck with the goalie. I mean, seriously, is there a more intimidating position in all of sports? Maybe it’s because he reminds everyone of Jason from Friday the 13th. Maybe it’s because he’s more reinforced than a U.N.-paid-for Hamas terror tunnel (sorry, too soon?). Or maybe it’s because this dude sits there all game long with other dudes pummeling him with a rubber projectile over and over and over at speeds of over 100 mph. The guy not only doesn’t hide, he actually jumps into harm’s way. Like I said, badass! That’s what it means to be the goalie. You get pounded. You get knocked down. You mess up and let one get by. Then you get up and take another, and another, and another. If you want a more technical term for this, how about the one my teacher and mentor Dr. Viktor Frankl, gave to people like this? This is a dude who lives his defiant power of spirit. As Dr. Frankl taught, “The defiant power of the human spirit is man’s capacity as a spiritual being to resist and brave whatever conditioning, circumstances or suffering he may face or endure.” So, screw New Year’s goals. This year, commit to being the goalie. Commit to not hiding behind the goals, and get out in front of that net where you’re bound to get pummelled by all kinds of slapshots. Commit to getting up after you get knocked down. Commit to facing your failures, taking responsibility, and working through the shame. Commit to no longer being afraid. Commit to making your stand and summoning the defiant power of your spirit as you don your hockey mask, and face, embrace, and endure whatever painful pucks come your way.