Why I Coach Men To Become Kings
To all my female readers—you're welcome.
I’ve been asked a lot lately by my female clients and readers: Why the emphasis on men? Do you only work with men now? The answer is no—I coach women too. I’ve always coached women. I help them become queens, and I do it with deep joy and reverence. And I always will.
But if you think I’m not helping women by focusing on men, you’ve got it all wrong. Because the truth is, the world doesn’t just need more empowered women. It needs more empowered men.
It needs more kings.
Let me tell you about Joe.
Joe is 50. He should be a king by now. He’s built a career, raised a family, and checked every box society handed him. From the outside, he looks like he’s made it. But inside? Joe’s a ghost. Numb. Lost. His marriage is hanging by a thread. His kids barely know him. His friends? Golf buddies who wouldn’t recognize vulnerability if it hit them in the face. Joe doesn’t talk about his pain; he buries it—in bourbon, in porn, in work, in anything that numbs the ache of a life unfulfilled.
He shows up at home with nothing left in the tank. His wife is starving for connection, for conversation, for presence. His children look up from their phones and wonder who the man is across the dinner table. And Joe? Joe wonders the same thing. Who the hell am I anymore?
This is what happens when a man loses himself.
And he’s not alone.
Joe is every man. He’s your husband. Your brother. Your father. Your son. He’s the good guy who did what he was told—grind, succeed, provide—but somewhere along the way, he forgot how to feel. He forgot how to dream. He forgot that power isn’t something you chase out there. It’s something you claim in here.
The Alarming Truth
We’re in a crisis. Here’s what the numbers tell us:
Suicide: Men are nearly four times more likely to die by suicide than women.
Alcoholism: Approximately 20% of men struggle with alcohol abuse, compared to 8% of women.
Pornography Consumption: Studies indicate that 91.5% of men and 60.2% of women have consumed pornography in the past month.
These aren’t just statistics; they’re alarm bells. They’re a reflection of just how disconnected men have become—from others, from their purpose, and from themselves. And it’s not just hurting them. It’s hurting all of us.
The Support Gap
Look around. Women show up—in therapy, in community, in conversation. When I was a rabbi, 80% of those attending spiritual functions were women. When I walk into a yoga studio, it’s 80-90% women. Women seek support. They gather. They heal.
Men? They isolate. They escape into hobbies. They disappear behind busy schedules and bravado. They rely on colleagues, on drinking buddies, on poker nights. But none of those people are going to help them find their soul.
Golf won’t save your marriage. Poker won’t raise your kids. Another promotion won’t reconnect you to your purpose.
Redefining Power and Masculinity
This isn’t about “toxic masculinity” bullshit. There’s no such thing. We don’t say “toxic femininity,” do we? Because it’s not real masculinity that’s the problem. What’s being labeled as toxic isn’t masculinity—it’s immaturity, insecurity, and undeveloped boys in grown men’s bodies.
True masculinity is about harnessing your energy and using your power—not force, but power. The kind of power that is grounded, conscious, consistent. Real power is presence. It’s accountability. It’s being able to say, “I was wrong.” It’s having the courage to lead with your heart as well as your hands.
True masculinity is sacred. It’s the fire that forges families. The backbone of communities. The quiet force that doesn’t demand attention but commands respect.
A Collective Call to Action
This isn’t just a man’s journey. It’s a societal imperative. It’s a family imperative. It’s your imperative.
So, women—expect more. Not by shaming. Not by nagging. But by holding the vision. As Dorothy says in Jerry Maguire, “I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.”
Believe in the man he could become. Expect him to rise. Support him in doing the work. Encourage him to stop hiding behind his excuses—behind the office, behind the gym, behind the golf course—and finally deal with what really matters.
Point him toward therapy. Coaching. A men’s group. A rite of passage. A return to purpose. To something—anything—that leads him back to his throne.
He was born to be king. And you were born to walk beside one.
So yes—I coach men.
I help them reclaim what they’ve lost. I help them rise from the numbness and noise. I help them rediscover their soul, their strength, and their sovereignty.
And to all my female readers, clients, friends, and family—
You’re welcome.
Because you deserve more than a man who’s merely surviving. You deserve a king.
You hold the vision. I’ll hold his hand. And together, we’ll help him do the work—the sacred, necessary work of finding his way back to his throne and becoming the king he was born to be.