Holding space.
It sounds like one of these new-age terms or some yoga babble idea. It’s not.
It probably originates in a term dating back to the 1400s, “holding court,” meaning someone who has the rapt attention of those listening to them. That’s exactly what it means.
When we hold space for another person, we give them our undivided attention. We don’t check our phones, look at our watches, think about what’s next in our daily activities, or plan what we’ll say next. We simply (or not so simply) “hold space,” giving them what Carl Rogers called “unconditional positive regard.”
We aren’t judging or critiquing what they say, and we aren’t trying to fix them.
In the scattered, distracted, and quick-fix society we have created, holding space is a rarity, near-heroic in effort, and needed now more than ever.
Can you just sit there and listen? Can you hear me—really hear me? Can you see me—really see me? Can you bear the burden of my words, my feelings, and the suffering that will arise for you and for me and consciously and courageously give me the gift of “holding space”?
