To say yes to life is not only meaningful under all circumstances – because life itself is – but it is also possible under all circumstances.”
– Dr. Viktor Frankl
I like simple tools and nothing is more simple than this.
The word no is a closed syllable. It is terse. It is abrupt, and it shuts down energy. Just ask a toddler to put down the lollipop and eat the broccoli instead, and you’ll hear it loud and clear – ‘no.’ That’s the end of that.
Saying ‘no’ is a natural reaction, particularly when we are scared. We say no as a form of protection. We say no as a way to defend ourselves against the unknown. We say no to create a sense of predictability and certainty that on the other side of whatever it is we are facing, enduring or fearing we’ll be safe.
However, saying no to our circumstances, to our future or to our lives has deep and destructive consequences. Sure, we need to say it at times. However, if we say no long enough, it’s not just our mouth that closes, but our minds and our hearts follow suit.
There are the little nos:
- No – I don’t want to go to dinner – I’d rather stay home (again).
- No – I don’t want to take a vacation – it costs too much.
- No – I don’t want to get off the couch – it’s NFL Sunday for crying out loud!
There are the big nos:
- No – I don’t want to have another child.
- No – I don’t want to marry again.
- No – I don’t want to make amends with my sister.
Yes, ‘no’ may save us in the moment, but if we say it for long enough, it will ruin us in the end.
You know someone who says ‘no’ too readily and too frequently. You can feel their closed-off energy, their closed-down worldview, and their closed-up life. That’s just the consequence of a life of life of no. However, there’s a simple way to defy ‘no,’ another one-syllable word. That word is YES!
Say it right now, yessss…. It embodies what it is. Whereas no is closed, yes, just rolls on and on.
Yes is, quite literally, an act of defiance. It forces your mouth to open, your mind to expand and your heart to burst forth when everything within you says shutdown, close off, and just say ‘no.’
When you find yourself stuck in a rut…
When you come to one of those crisis crossroads…
When you feel yourself slipping into the darkness, despair or default mode of, yet another, ‘no’ just remember this:
You don’t have to know the way forward. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just need to break the cycle, defy your reaction, and in the words of Dr. Viktor Frankl, “say yes to life, in spite of everything.” Say YES to life and live.
